A Little Lost

 Hurting other people can hurt just as bad as being hurt yourself.

I'm a very empathetic person and I've found myself in a couple instances lately where the romance doesn't add up. Something didn't click with one guy. The other one, I just saw as a friend and nothing more and I wanted to keep it that way. 

Both instances have made me feel like a terrible person. 

I can't say I was sad about the breakup with the guy that didn't click. I just didn't feel the same sparks. I care about him a whole lot and I really did love him, but fireworks explode and fizzle out. Something inside me was just saying no. 

I feel terrible for hurting my friend. I never flirted with him, nor did I ever give any implications that I was interested in him as anything more than a friend. He just decided on his own that he really liked me and he was upset when I didn't feel the same. He hasn't talked to me in almost 24 hours when previously, we would message multiple times throughout the day.

I can't help what I feel. These situations are not my fault, but I have a tendency to blame myself for things. I especially place blame on myself when other people get hurt.

I wish I knew why they fell for me in the first place. I want to keep more people from getting hurt.

It's quite a sinking feeling. 

If anyone knows how to break the ice with my friend again, shoot me a message.

I feel a little lost.

-Emma Lancaster