We Keep this Love in a Photograph

 When Ed Sheeran said loving can hurt sometimes, he wasn't wrong.

In fact, he was actually extremely accurate. 

Love does hurt.

Love especially hurts when it is your own love that is thrown back at you in such a way that you never expected. 

Love hurts when you look through your photo gallery and cannot find when he started looking at you differently. 

Love hurts when he cheats, when he throws everything away.

Love hurts when he says he hasn't loved you for a month.

Love hurts when you sit on his bedroom floor, sobbing, and he is blank.

Love hurts when you tell your little brother that it's over, his best friend can't come over anymore.

Love hurts when your little brother doesn't talk to you for three days afterward. 

Love hurts when the emotional roller coaster comes down again, then derails, and crashes.

Love hurts when you remember a summer four years ago when you first fell in love with him because of Kanye West. 

Love hurts when you wake up in the morning after dreaming that you could talk to him again, text him again, and then you check your phone to find nothing.

Love hurts when you learn that he was never truly ready to live up to that ring on your finger.

Love hurts when you see him drive by on a summer night and your insides collapse and you can't breathe. 

I am so sick of this hurt.

I am beyond ready to heal.

Yet,

I don't know

Where

To begin.

-Emma Lancaster

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