Penny For Your Thoughts

 I never thought I would have to think about the loss of a celebrity I loved as a child until I was at least thirty. However, here we are. A boyband member passed from this earth. Similar to many others across the world, this passing, while not personal, brings up personal feelings. We all lost a part of our younger selves with the loss of someone famous.  We are forced remember how fleeting light can be. Enjoy the warmth while you have it. Hug your young ones tight today, and be graceful to your younger self. -Emma Lancaster

I miss being 18. She was carefree, she was bold, she was courageous.  She learned so much more than I ever could now.  She felt things so big, she could be sad and bounce back, and she knew what it meant to be persistent. She had a joy for life, an eagerness to keep going, to grow. I don't have much time for feeling anymore, and what a weight that can be. I miss going on walks on nice days.  I miss being excited.  I miss living with my freshman-year roommate. I miss the feeling of tears drying, knowing that it would all turn out okay. I was softer. I miss her. -Emma Lancaster

 nothing makes you appreciate life more than the loss of a precious one. -Emma Lancaster

 Here is to my roaring 20s, to the mistakes that I will make, to the lessons that I will learn, to the people I will love, to the sunsets I will watch, to the life that I will live, and to the life that I will build. Here is to my roaring 20s, to the years that will fall in this decade, to the months that will be spent with love, to the days that will be filled with joy, to the hours that I will pass, to the minutes that I will wish to last forever, to the seconds that I will soak into memory. Here is to my roaring 20s, to the years that will change my life, to the decade that was my childhood dream, to the present moment on the brink of something wonderful. Today, I am 20. What a fantastic thing to be. -Emma Lancaster

 I was listening to a song that made me think of him, when all of a sudden, there was a shooting star.  Goodbyes are always hard to say, even when they're goodbyes that have a "see you later" attached to them. Then, when I was thinking of him again, there was a second shooting star. He's one of the hardest goodbyes I've ever had to say, and I cried three times on the drive home. Then, when I was being a daydreamer and missing him and driving all at the same time, there was a third shooting star.  The universe has a funny way of telling you that it's going to be okay. The next song that played was All Of The Stars by Ed Sheeran. "I saw a shooting star and I thought of you." -Emma Lancaster

 Dear little love, You are three weeks old today. What a beautiful little life you are. This world is big, little bird, and it will be all yours.  You will fly all your life. I will be so lucky to watch you in the sky. Sleep sound through the night, I will always hold you tight. You are blessed by Heaven, You are a little light. -Emma Lancaster

 I sometimes think about what would have happened  if I had never found out that he  wasn't in love with me. If he had gotten away with cheating, how long would he have hidden it from me? Would I know, even today? How would my heart have hurt differently? But then I think about who I was, who I am, where I am, where I will go, what I was, and what I will be next, and I refuse to think for a second longer about the love that was too weak to hold water. -Emma Lancaster

 And oh, he is fun. He is serious when necessary, and he is serious about me. But he is fun.  He skips down the sidewalks with me. He dances to Taylor Swift. He likes otters. He keeps a drawing of a dinosaur in his pocket when he goes to work. I'm having the adventure of a lifetime. The smile never fades. -Emma Lancaster

 Recently, I've learned that there are a million and one ways to say "I love you" without ever uttering those three words. How was your day? What was something that made you smile today? I was thinking of you. I got you flowers. Do you want a hug? I'll be there in two minutes. Do you want a ride so you don't have to walk? You need to rest. Let me carry that for you. Did you eat breakfast this morning? Will you come have dinner with me? My mom wanted me to tell you that she says hello. Call me, without hesitation, anytime you need me. I just like hearing your voice. You're beautiful.  This song reminded me of you. I like it when you wear my sweatshirt.  I know you can take care of yourself, but let me help you. You're on my priority list. Being busy doesn't mean I don't think about you all the time. Let me walk you home, it's dark outside. Drive safely. Let's go on an adventure together. I'd love to teach you how to shoot a basketball. A